I wrote a blog yesterday and I pushed a button and poof...The blog disappeared into cyberspace, never to be seen again. I think that blog sucked anyway. I was having kind of a strange day. People seemed very edgy to me yesterday and the day before. Kind of like they wanted to yell and scream and choke me to death. And I bring my IV into my study now while I write so I can keep getting food and yesterday the IV suddenly looked like an alien to me and I felt like she was watching me write so I had to turn her around to face the wall and I think she got insulted and do you think I'm taking too many pain pills and I'm losing my mind? Actually, I'm taking less pills since I have this patch but I don't know. Poof. It was all gone and I thought I heard my IV chuckling so I just let the blog go and the two of us went into the living room and watched an episode of In Treatment. Ever seen that show? It's about upper middle class people in therapy who are very fucked up and you just want to slap them and say, "Get over yourself!" but the acting is terrific and Gabriel Bryne is very handsome and the best part about is...Those aren't MY problems. Thanks goodness for that.
One thing I remember writing about yesterday was Mr. Obama's speech. If you haven't heard or read it...Google it. It's pretty damn brilliant and so forward thinking and not stuck in a world that no longer exists. That's why I think that he's probably the right person for the job...Because he's a person of the future. He sees things very differently than people from an older generation. I don't know if he can get past his fiery, angry preacher but I think Mr. Obama would be very exciting to have as a President. How many times do we have to have those Middle East Peace Talks until we finally realize..."Hmmmm. This isn't working, is it?" Maybe we need a new approach to things. And I'm not sure but I don't think that approach should be blowing up the Middle East and starting all over again.
So I'm talking to a friend this morning and I asked if we could do something on Sunday and she said that there was this Resurrection she had to celebrate and I said like a moron..."Who's resurrection?" Okay, I admit that lately my life has been a pretty selfish one. Me me me. It's been all about me. I do forget other people's birthdays and I apologize. But to forget who's (or is that whose?) resurrection it is means I have to get out of myself and remember that there is a world going on outside of my house and that world does not concern me except for the fact that I am this little meat body walking around this small piece of planet trying to figure out what it's all about.
I am thinking that when I go bald I might have people sign my head...Like a cast. Or maybe I'll have an artist friend draw on some hair. Or maybe I'll glue some licorice twirls up there that look like bright red and black dreadlocks and then I'll always have something to munch on even when I'm stuck in traffic.
Or maybe I'll just wear a hat.
I miss human beings!! Right now, this part of the journey is just sitting in my house pumping food into my system so I no longer get my vitamin drip and I don't get to see Cedric and the crazy vitamin gang and I don't have to go to the grocery store because I can't eat by mouth right now so it's just me and this alien IV and my computer. And my dog, of course. But we all get along. Don't we gang? Don't we?
Wish me luck. I'm going to try and print out what I've written so I am now clicking on the button and here goes................................