Monday, August 13, 2007

She Sleeps Wit Da fishes

First of all, I would like to bid a fond farewell to Mr. Karl Rove. Since I will be pumping morphine when he makes his final wave from the White House steps, with a tiny tear in his shifty little eye, (thank you James Taylor) I would like to take this opportunity to say...May we the people never again allow mediocrity to rise to the top. Goodbye Karl. We'll miss you...NOT!!

I have never won a contest. I occasionally receive Publisher Clearing House letters and possible trips to Belize to win if I subscribe to KCRW (which I do but never seem to get to Belize. Where exactly is Belize?) However, I did get a letter with a contest attached and I have a feeling if I enter this one I might actually win. The prize...A pre-paid Cremation! Yes, it's a letter from the Neptune Society, all excited to write to me. It says Hi Trish and Hey Trish and they actually know my name and seem really happy to meet me. Last years winner, Ocremina Stewart (I kid you not) seems thrilled to have won. They have a drawing each month. I think I have a damn good chance. But here is the question...Does the Neptune Society go around to all of the chemo clinics and gather names? Is someone at the clinic getting paid to give them the names? Why would I suddenly get a letter about cremation? Hmmmm. But it's...somehow exciting. I could belong to this little club. And they make it even more attractive by telling you that cremation has less impact on the environment then a regular burial. I certainly do not want to contribute to that pesky global warming. And one of the more important things if I actually win this contest, I can lock in at today's cremation price. So, I don't know, I'm feeling good about this one. Just have to fill out the information card...And here's the best part...At the bottom of the letter, in very small type it says, "Please accept our apologies if this letter has reached you at a time of serious illness." Wish I knew what Ocremina Stewart has.

I hate to think of myself as an elitist and I hate to use the old cliche of Los Angeles having no culture...(It has a lot of culture, especially at UCLA Live. That is the greatest.) However, yesterdays Sunday entertainment sections said a lot...In the New York Times were two articles, one by Woody Allen about Ingmar Bergman and one by Martin Scorcese about Antonioni. And what was on the cover of the Los Angeles Times Calendar section? A huge article on High School Musical 2.

"And what is wrong with that, Trish, you big pretentious snob?! Kids loved High School Musical 1 and did you see it? No. So you have no right to comment!"

I'm sorry. You're right. I'm sure the themes are very thought pervoking.

"Again with the snotty talk. Who do you think you are? What planet do you live on? HSM is amazingly popular. Be honest, Antonioni movies do not make any sense. They are bullshit. Bullshit with good camera moves. And Bergman. Could a person possibly snore any louder? High School Musical. It's got a plot, it's got music. It's got young people. It makes you feel good. Anything wrong with that miss snottypuss?"

I'm sorry. I'll check it out. And I will never again pass judgement on something I have never seen. Promise. (Dear God, Please air High School Musical when I'm unconscious. Thank you. Love, Trish.)

Do you ever feel like you're not alone? Like you've got an evil twin lurking in your brain and if you just turned your head a little to the right it would pop out and become...You. Evil you. Oh, I don't know. I think this Karl Rove thing has me all fermished. I think I'm going to look for my phone book and see if I can locate Ocremina...IF she's still with us..........................

4 comments:

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...I love that the Neptune Society has a contest...but, what exactly is it you win? IF you can "lock in the current price of cremation now..." Where is The Prize part? Or did I miss something here. LOL!
I "lovked in the cremation" prie about 5 years ago...or was it longer than that? I mean this decade is MORE than half over and remember how we waited for 2000 like it was never going to get here??

I guess I am an elitost, too, Trish....I don't even get the L.A. Times because it just doesn't seem like a Newspaper to me. Growing up with The NY Tines amd The Herald Tibune...well, need I say more?
I will try to watch High School Musical, but....well, I'm not s ure I will be able to get through it. Is that elitist enough for you, my dear? OY!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

"LOCKED IN THE CREMATION PRICE...."
One finger typing very fast can really suck sometimes...It's like a Cat typed my comment!

CHERIBEE said...

Sooooooo, I've always wanted to make contact with you, had lunch with Jill and Jeanne yesterday and was told of your blog, spent last night reading from Day one, I always knew of your writing talents, but, this is so good. Having had a little breast cancer(not much to speak of) and having been care giver with family. I so get what this is all about. I'm truly sorry you have to go through this, (I remember your appendicitis and visiting you at home with Gary). 3 years ago mine ruptured, and picturing you in bed recuperating was how I remmebered which side it was on, and that it might be that. Anyway, I would love to hear from you, and certainly will keep reading your blog.
With fond memeories,
Cheri

Dennis said...

Trish, you youngster! I've been getting the damn Neptune Society things for 15 or 20 years. And about them: Why waste the fee? With global warming, there'll always be accelerated forest fires; just have our friends haul us out to the latest conflagration, open the car door, give a little nudge, and voila! A freebie!
Now about the L.A. Times: I decided yesterday to start reading the articles. I'd been noticing how I liked the televised comments of this or that N.Y. Times correspondent from 'over there', and I thought hey wait a minute--OUR Times has won quite a few Pulitzers, too, and maybe some of those bums not good enough for the Big Apple are actually good enough for something. I went past the headline today and guess what? They CAN write. So, except for the fact that Clive Barnes was good to us, I see no personal reason to hold the East Coast Times up as the standard of standards. Sylvie Drake was good to us, too. What I miss are the old local papers. Like the Evening Outlook. Your pal, Dennis