She Said Wha??!!$%&&+!!

Okay, if you smoke, go get a cigarette. If you like Martinellis Sparkling Apple Cider, get yourself a glass of that. And just make sure you're sitting down when you read this, although who actually stands up to read on their computer? Do they even make a computer stand?

But I ramble from the main point.

As you know, the last few weeks have been rather brutal. And that is not an exaggeration. I was in pain. Major Pain. (Which was an awful movie with Damon Wayans I believe, but I didn't see it so what do I know?) Anyway, I was trying to manage the pain because I just felt like shit and horrible shit at that. Can't even describe it. In my chestal area I would say, or Woody Allen would say also in some movie. And, of course, I'd been doing tough chemo which didn't help. So last Wednesday I had a scan, a couple of scans actually. A PET scan (and no I did not bring my dog with me) and a CT scan. Well, Dr. Shaum called last night and left me a message. And for a doctor who deals with these things everday, I must say she sounded slightly breathless. Seems like my scan was somewhat miraculous. Yes, I'm a bit over the top but why not. Although even the radiologist could not believe that I had not had radiation or another operation because the mass, the tumor, was pretty much gone, invisible, as was the second mass. And the two scans plus blood work confirmed this...One after the other. Only a small amount of cancer still existed in a lymph node but the chemo had worked so well that I imagine a couple more zaps and we can get rid of that little bugger. I am assuming that I had a pretty good sized MASS in a tough area and that is why they were so pleased and amazed that it was gone in a relatively short amount of chemo time. (Now remember, I did chemo before and the cancer grew back so even though I am jumping for joy in my skin I hold a little hop in reserve just in case.)

And as for the pain, it seems I have something called gastritius in the lining of my stomach. That can cause infection and vomiting and, of course, pain. I had an endosocopy today where they put a tube down your throat with a camera on the end and check you out from the outside in so I'll get the results of what she saw later in the week. But the bottom line is (love that phrase...bottom line...and by the way remind me to tell you something about my bottom.)...the bottom line is the pain is not from cancer. Gastritious or something like that but NOT CANCER.

Okay, take a puff or a drink and let's all breath for a second..............................

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

So now I wait for results and what to do next and how many more chemos and must get my wig and here...Here is the most amazing thing of all. I may live the rest of my life, ..................I may live the rest of my life as a size FOUR!

And they called me chubby when I was twelve!

After my test today, when I was still on the slight bit of anesthesia that stays with you after a test, I went with Karen to the bank. And there was a shop next door that sold jeans and since I don't have any that fit me anymore I said we should stop in. So we did and I tried on a pair and since I have no bottom right now I actually fit into a size........Are you ready for this........A size TWO. I never even knew there WAS such a size. So I bought them. The Nurse had told me not to make any important decisions today since I was still on the drug all day but I thought buying a size two was not that important of a decision. Now I'm hoping that within the next year I can beef up to a size four because I liked my bottom and I would like to look like a woman and not a twelve year old...From the back...I do not kid myself about looking like a twelve year old from the front....

So that's my news. Must lie down...In my jeans...

This is not the end. Actually, this may be the beginning.....................................