Oh Yeah

Yes, ladies and germs I am wireless! Thanks to my handsome and rugged friend Keith Stevenson, whom, if only I were years younger, would be attacked and captured and dragged to my house and fed turkey meatloaf and potato chips but because of my present circumstances all I could do last night was watch him work on my computer while I put together a Chinese chicken salad and tried not to throw up...But he did it and now I am sitting on the couch in the living room, just as I had imagined and I have my Spring Green computer on my lap and we're bonding and it's so warm on my thighs and that is one thing I had never imagined and I'm so excited I could scream...

I just did.

And last night after he finally got it going I actually did get so excited that I had to excuse myself and vomit and I think that was out of pure excitement. I guess little kids do that. Vomit and poop when they get excited. Not so cute when you're my age but at least I excused myself. So who knew? Well now, everyone.

But, of course, it's always something. It's afternoon now and I have spent all day freaked out because I no longer have any excuse as to why I'm not writing. I woke up thinking, oh shit, I can sit on the couch and write now and I can't say to anyone oh dear I am waaaaay too tired to go into my study and yadayada and I am sick as a dog...Although when I am I sick which will be the next couple of weeks because I didn't have chemo this week and I'm finally feeling a bit better...But when I am sick THAT IS an excuse so there! I have been feeling really badly the past few days and I talked to Dr. Shaum and told her that my chest hurt, right where the cancer is/was and she thought I should add another pain patch so I am now wearing three patches and taking less of the pain pills. Which is good. The pills make me feel very strange and I don't like to drive on the pills and I shouldn't drive but I have to take them and sometimes I do have to go out. It's a kind of strange that's hard to describe but it's sort of like I get into the car and wonder what in the world a car is................And someone is talking and it takes a while to realize it's the radio and it's Rachel Maddow who is a radio commentator and she's also on MSNBC and she's a beautiful and smart lesbian that a bunch of straight women I know are in love with but she's taken and I love her too, especially on pain pills so she's talking and I start driving and sort of feel like I'm in a Disney Flubber car and I'm not even sure what that is but I feel like I'm bouncing all over the road and I realize I have no idea where I'm going or why I'm going and then I see a Ralphs so I decide that I must be going there so I do. And I pull the car into one of those parking space thingies and listen to Rachel for way too long and I'm not even sure what she's talking about but it has something to do with Michigan and Florida and I have been to both states and if I get to go to Michigan again I will be a very happy woman but if I have to go to Florida again I don't think I even want to get out of this car...

But I do get out and walk into Ralphs (which is a SUPERmarket for those who don't live in Ralphsville.) and Ralphs looks SO BIG that I sort of freak out and just leave and..................

Anyway, you can see why I don't like taking the pain pills. Makes the world just a little woo woo for me to drive around in. I guess the world is all woo woo to a baby. Maybe I'm becoming a baby again. Poop vomit woo woo. Oh my gosh, what if I had to wear a diaper AND move to Florida. Well, that would just be it, wouldn't it? What would be the point of going on?

But I ramble. I'm wireless. Dog food. That's what I needed at Ralphs.

Wow. Cool. Thank you, Keith. Thank you, Will. Thank you, Ralph. Woo woo...............