You Got Da White Mattah and Da Grey Mattah

So I'm doing my walk yesterday in the park and there was this nice looking man in his seventies talking to a nice looking lady in her seventies and they were talking about the brain and he says, "You got da white mattah and da grey mattah. And at our age da white mattah doesn't mattah anymore." And they talked and talked and from what I heard their white mattah was working just fine.

They advertise stars for sale on the radio. You can have a star in the sky named after somebody you love for just fifty nine ninety nine. Then they will be able to look up in the sky and see their very own star named after them for eternity! Imagine, we all look up and see...Delores. Hey, that's Delores. Yup. I named that star after her for just fifty nine bucks and change. If anyone reading this has purchased one of these stars I think you might consider getting your white mattah examined.

I have seen three movies in the last couple of weeks that I liked a lot and all of them had very interesting women in them. Nice looking women, natural looking woman, not the glamour girls that usually fill the screen and make all the rest of us feel less than lovely. And these female characters were fleshed out to the point of actually having back stories and lives beyond the cute thing on the guy's arm. And I realized that all of these movies were written by women and one was also directed by the same. Juno, The Savages and Lars and The Real Girl. Oh, those uppity women. Not only did they write movies that actuall got made, they were bold enough to write female characters that were fully realized which is something one does not always find at the AMC. And the actresses playing these characters were really good actresses, not models who think crying on screen will get people to take them seriously. Not one of them wore a low cut dress or too much make-up or woke up with perfect hair. Oh my God, was that a relief. Do you know how hard it is to watch a movie or a tv show and see women wake up, sometimes with a cold or the flu or something terminal and yet they look like they just got their hair and makeup done by Wally Westheimer...(Okay, I know there was a make-up artist who had a name sort of like that. Maybe I just like the name Wally.)

Anyway, I, of course, hope this woman thing is a trend. I'm slightly hopeful but I've seen it almost happen before. I thought Thelma and Louise would make a huge difference but it apparently didn't make as much money as Die Hard. And that's "the bottom line." I sold a script once that was a pretty big sale...Big enough to make the front page of Variety. And, oh, producers and agents were so happy and I foolishly thought this is it! I am on my way to the big time. And I had Goldie Hawn attached and I had Bette Midler attached and then when it came time to actually get it made, I was told by the powers that be...Little men in big towers...That honestly..."Who would want to watch a movie with a forty year old woman in the lead?"

"You need stronger male characters."
"But this movie is all about a woman and the journey that she takes. Remember, you laughed, you cried. The men are perfunctury."
"They're what?
"They're objects, really. Sort of like most women are in the movies, only in reverse."
"Maybe you could change the lead to a male and have the women be perfun...You know, what you said."
"Didn't you buy my script as it was written for a lot of money?"
"Well, maybe we didn't read it thoroughly enough."

At least I cashed my check. Wonder if they'd like a heartwarming story about a middle aged woman who gets cancer and can only eat cheese and she meets a guy who is allergic to dairy. Hmmm...Maybe if I changed the lead to man...