Friday, April 18, 2008

No I Am Not Dead

Okay, here's the thing...Until I become wireless I won't be able to blog as often as I'd like to and it has to do with my set up and my IV and blah blah blah but my wonderful fabulous son was here this past week and spent hours online ordering my laptop and figuring out what I needed, which isn't much, so hopefully by the end of next week I'll be able to sit in the living room or in a coffee shop with all those people who think they are writing a script that someone will actually buy (oh, I shouldn't be so cynical...Or should I?) but anyway I am pretty sure that wirelessness will allow me to write more often. There will always be a lag of two or three days when I do chemo but I only have four more to go, so they say, and then it will be three and so on..........

But anyway, I did not have chemo this week and I've had some good days and a couple bummer days but my hair is still on my head and I'm afraid to touch it thinking the whole thing might just come off in my hand but as of today it's still here. More chemo on Monday so we shall see what that brings beside the nausea which has been a little too intense and the fatigue. But I walk and I talk and I think and I read and I wait for the day when we finally have a candidate because I can't stand the suspense anymore and it's so cool that it's a Black man and a woman although I think these two are going to kill each other before it's all over and then we'll be back to White men again and we know where that gets us.....................And is it just me or does hearing the Pope speak in a large stadium with his very strong German accent make some of you want to keep a packed duffel bag by the door "just in case"?..............................

This is going to be short today but I wanted to make sure that I wrote down something that I have realized this week...Two very important reasons why I should continue living...

One...My Son...Enough said.

Two...When my son was here I sent him to get...

A HOT DOG!!

Cedric! I haven't been getting my vitamin drip because you can't mix vitamins with chemo so they tell me and I haven't seen Cedric in quite a while so I sent Will to get a dog and told him to say hi from me, thinking Cedric might not remember me because I am one of so many hot dog eaters and Cedric admirers but HE KNEW ME and said he was wondering about me and where I'd been and he asked for my e-mail and I was so flattered that I almost fainted, which I do these days anyway, but I realized that Cedric is my second most important reason to live.

What a world..............................

16 comments:

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

So happy to come and read your always funny words, my dear Trish...! And YES! The Pope scares me, too...Maybe you have to be Jewish to get these strange scary feelings...!
I am so glad you realized these two very important things, my dear. Your son...Such a Blessing...And Cedric...Another wonderful Blessing (Maybe there is more to this relationship than a Hot Dog or two....By The Way, Did your dear son like the Hot Dog?
Hang in there, my dear....we are all pulling for you and sending you White Light and Healing Vibes, too! PLUS (((((((hugs))))))))

Anne said...

I don't know why we all wish or expect you to blog more often! I guess it is because we all think about you often. Belated Birthday wishes, btw.

You sound good in your blogging and once you go wireless you probably will fill volumes with your witty-ness.

You are soooo funny!!!

Keep up your good spirits, hugs from Anne

Leslie said...

Happy Belated Birthday!! I too keep looking for your blog because you make me smile! What I really want to know is how the Pope is going to hold those priest accountable as he promised. But, let's not dwell on the Pope, the Dalai or anyone else. I'm so glad the weenie man remembered you. If one comes from Chicago one the knows how important a good hot dog is! And, I don't know how you lived this long without wireless! Can't wait to hear more from you. As has been said, we are all wishing you many well days. Kisses, your Agawak friend, from the Blue Team, Leslie.

Jessica said...

Dear Trish,
I am a faithful reader and am happy to see your note today. I love your two reasons -- we never know how we touch the lives of others, and vice versa. I'm so happy to know that you touched Cedric as much as he's touched you. And of course, your son -- a loving family can make our hearts, minds, souls, and will so much stronger. Sending you wishes for quick and full healing!
Jessica

Mima said...

I was really glad to see a new post from you, I keep wondering how you are doing, and only 4 to go, that is great news. Hoping that it all goes as well as possible for you! I gather also that a belated Happy Birthday is in order!

nora said...

Trish,
I also am a faithful reader and am happy to see your last post.

I live in Indiana and for once our primary election (May 6) might actually count. We're getting an awful lot of attention from the candidates - and their families.

I am so happy about your hotdog man crush-y thing! Isn’t it amazing the power that strangers have over our moods? And I love it for him that he’s doing exactly what he wants to be doing.

Congratulations on your wireless. I hope that makes things a little easier for you.

Barbara said...

I totally understand. I really do. I really hope you get to a place that feels better soon. (Still clapping from your birthday. I like that Gary whoever he is. And I like Cedric too.) Love, Barbara

Barbara said...

And the biggest Hurray! for Willie. What a nice man he's grown into..

Sparrow said...

Hello,
I randomly stumbled onto your blog from Google and wanted to leave you a message. You seem to me a very funny and very inspiring woman. Fabulous, in fact, and I wish you all the very best in your life after such bad luck! And I hope that soon you meet a nice guy who isn't weird or a monk. :)
I hope this wasn't too creepy, all the best -
Sparrow.

SouthernDaze said...

Another one of your fans here happy to see your recent post. Wishing you all the best and praying that you have more good days than bad ones.

secretknots said...

Catching up with your blog...I have that fear about touching my hair and having it all fall out too, but it's probably not the same. And I should probably take offense to the thing about all those people sitting in cafes with their laptops writing screenplays that'll never sell being that I am one of those people, but I'll let it slide. :)

Simply Scarlet said...

Your son is a very good reason to go on, not to mention Hot Dogs!

I'm glad your son was able to help out w/ your computer issues. You'll love the laptop. If anyone does anything to you at the hospital, something you don't feel right about, just type us a message and we'll send help!

The Style Bard said...

I'm glad you're back!

Pope scares me too...

Sounds like a perfectly acceptable and wonderful second reason.

joanie said...

Thinking of you from Chicago...the home of the hot dog and the childhood home of Gary as a matter of fact! I send you love from Lake View friends and Agawak campers.

Love,

joanoie berman siegel

susan said...

so, i have dialed back in
after doing a bit of blogging myself inspired by your perfect self

sailing the back drafts and up shots and sending you love and sustenance, kid....
there is a gorgeous James Wright poem a friend just sent that is too long to post but the end is:

And the light breeze breeze moves me to caress her long ear
That is as delicate as the skin over a girl's wrist.
Suddenly I realize
That if I stepped out of my body I would break
Into blossom

so wishes to remember and guard our blossoming even in the midst of entirely too much poison

much love to you darling person
susan

julie said...

Hi Trish, I just talked to Jill G who told me about what is going on with you and about your blog. I'm sorry for the easy, breezy email birthday wishes--I just didn't know. I'm so sorry that you are going through such hell. I take comfort in the fact that you have an amazing sense of humor, a determined character, a phenomenal son, and good, caring friends.
I have some thoughts and some questions re: your blog. First, everyone can't write--at least not in a way that makes people want to read it. Second, you definitely were fetching when I knew you. You had a seeming ease in the world. I loved being your friend.Third, who was the John in 6th grade? Fourth, crying feels good because we cry out stress hormones in our tears. Fifth, curious to go from a Dr. Kunstadter to a Dr. Kuchenbecker.
I'll stay tuned in and wish you powerful healing.
xoxo Julie Shifrin Howard