Monday, April 28, 2008

Just The Facts, Ma'am.......

I haven't eaten since February. February! Oh sure, I've had a strawberry and a piece of apple and a tiny piece of cheese but that's not eating. And no, I'm not hungry because I ingest these cans of nutrition and they keep me from losing weight and they help me stand upright and take walks but this is getting to be very abnormal. They keep assuring me that when the tumor shrinks I'll be able to swallow and therefore have a piece of fish or something soft and yummy and maybe I'm torturing myself by watching cooking shows and seeing people like this very plump, happy, Southern woman named Paula Deen bake things like peanut butter cakes and eat them all up and just be so damn happy about the whole thing...Maybe I should watch the History Channel instead where people cross the Atlantic and starve their way to America. I don't know. Maybe I should just read anything beside The Joy of Cooking.

Today is chemo. I am still so sick from last weeks drip that I cannot imagine how I'm going to feel tomorrow but here I go. There is some good news to report...My blood work is very strong. My tumor, according to the work, has shrunk quite a bit. Couldn't tell by me but that's what Dr. Shaum said and I don't think she'd lie just to make me feel good. So that's the happy news. Oh happy happy joy joy. I am dancing across the room, doing my first dance to a joyous Spring.

Now here's a word whose meaning has become quite clear to me in recent days...Clumps...My hair is now falling out in...Clumps...I just have to run my fingers through it and small dyed blond birds nests appear. In fact I'm leaving it all in the yard in case a bird might be looking for some house building material. Maybe I should leave a sign...Like the signs that say FREE DIRT. How about a sign that says FREE HAIR. But then, of course, as I lie in bed I imagine that some birds have taken my hair and they come looking for more and fly into my room and start pecking at my bald head to see if there's just a tiny bit left for maybe a family room...Or a second bedroom...

I think I've watched just a few too many Hitchcock movies.

There is a bird on a tree right outside of my study. He has a very mean look on his face. Maybe he hates blonds. Maybe he wanted a brunette nest. Maybe I should take another pain pill.

I'm off to chemo. Does one's mind come out with their hair?

Stay tuned...............................


JS said...


Good news all around. If I see a blonde nest I'll know where it came from.
Life giving hair.

Saw a baby mockingbird yesterday-not so little and still being fed...dried worms.

Then a neighbor trimmed their trees and bushes and three baby squirrels toppled out of the nest, the mom rescued them, and then a baby possom on our patio.

It is that time of year.

Much spring love to you,

Anonymous said...

Glad to see your post; you are frequently on my mind. I guess the anti-nausea meds aren't helping if the chemo is still making you sick. May be time to ask them to bump them up or replace with something else.

Your description of the birds coming in the night to fetch more hair for their nests left me chuckling.

Thank God for your sense of humor and for keeping your spirits up.

Hope you have a better week and can get out in the sunshine for a bit.


Mima said...

Sorry to hear that you are still feeling sick, but what anne said sounds about right, to check with the docs about a change. Have you tried ginger, that is supposed to help?

I can't imagine what it must be like to loose your hair, even if you knew that it was going to happen. It will re-grow when you finish treatment, and you will be able to try out a whole new look while you are re-growing.

I hope that chemo went as well as it could, and that you are now safely home and tucked up on the sofa under a cosy blanket. Thinking of you.

Scarlet said...

It's great to know you got some good news. The hair coming out doesn't sound good, but you crack me up talking about the birds and their family rooms, etc. You need to get through this so you can write sitcoms.

Best of luck to you, Trish. I'm saying a prayer for you.

Roberta J. said...

I've always heard if your hair falls out it means the chemo is working. Of course that could be an old wive's tale, but since I am an old wife, I think I'll just go with that. Your hair will grow back and hopefully the tumor never will. Stay strong and think positive thoughts--can't hurt, right?
Love, Roberta

nora said...

I also love the birds nest imagary, but hate the thought of you losing hair. That must be an awful feeling.

I hope you get to eat something soon- a hotdog maybe?

joanie said...

you with no hair are cuter than most with hair!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

What a time, What a time, dear Trsh...! I hope you got through this Chemo a little easier my dear. So glad to read the GOOD News about 'shringage'...Now, lets hope it shrinks away to nothing, and Very Very Soon!
Hair falling out in clumps...OY! But I do love the idea of the Birds having a Damily!
Your humor always prevails, dear Trish!
(((((((HUGS))))))), my dear!