Friday, July 6, 2007

A Black Potus

I am sure you are looking at that word and wondering, what the hell is a potus? Will was reading out of Newsweek as we were driving back from Carpinteria and read the sentence, "The country may not be ready for a Black Potus." And I'm picturing some weird centipede or, I don't know, a preacher and he was reading about Barach Obama and suddenly he figured out that Potus stood for President of the United States! But it somehow sounded slightly racist. Because they didn't say, the country was not ready for a Morman Potus. Or a female Potus. Just a Black Potus. And then I got to thinking, the country was certainly ready to elect a dumb ass Potus...Twice! And I don't mean the one who got the BJ under his desk. (Which gives a whole new meaning to the words Oval Office.) I mean the dumb ass Potus who took us into an unnecessary war. And while I'm ranting, here is something that has always bothered me...Our President is born again. Which is great for him. I'm happy for him. But he believes that unless you accept Christ, you are going to roll around uncomfortably in your grave for eternity. Come on. Does he really believe that my sweet grandma who had to escape Russia at the turn of the last century in a hay wagon, and had to lie quietly under the hay while her brother was bludgeoned to death with a pitchfork, does he really believe that because she was Jewish that she is not at peace? Now, Jesus seems like he was a pretty cool dude and I can't imagine that he walked on the earth and said, "Hey Sam, you're a nice guy but unless you embrace me, your eternity is toast." But you know, I could be wrong...And then what?

Dr. Mao, my acupuncturist, was also the doctor to the man formerly known as my husband. So I went to get my bi-monthly treatment and he knew what had happened between us and he is always full of deep thoughts and when he finished putting in his needles, in that delicate way he always does, he walked over to the door, dimmed the light, and left me with some of his wise words of wisdom..."Take him to the cleaners." And he was gone. I usually fall asleep after a minute or two, relax into a deep state of calm. But on this day my mind was racing. The cleaners? I never even thought of that. I don't even go to the cleaners. I use Dryell. (Great stuff, by the way. You can get it at Target.) Take him to the cleaners. Hmmmm. And then I started thinking about what I might ask for. And then, being slightly calm from the needles, I decided I might ask for EVERYTHING! I want everything. Even his new girlfriend. She's a young ex art student. She makes jewelry. Maybe I'll take all of her jewelry! Yeah, that's the ticket. And his credits. I'll take all of his credits. Anytime he works on a show, it will say, written by Trish, directed by Trish. I got very excited about all the possibilities. I can have it ALL! Take this sucker to the cleaners! Oh, Dr. Mao is so wise. I know, I'll take his girlfriend's youth! Yes. It's all mine. And Dr. Mao came back into the room and I was high as a kite and he said he was so glad to see I was feeling better. Then he asked me if I liked his little joke. I smiled at him and then I started to laugh. And I laughed. And I laughed. Just a little too hard. So he told me to lie down again. Thought I needed another treatment. This time I went to sleep. And in my little needle dream I watched the credits roll...And everything was mine.


OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL...Great post Trish...! I LOVE Dr. Mao...He sounds like the perferct Woody Allen trpe Acupuncturist.
"Take him to the cleaners"...Absolutely!
I'm with Dr. Mao...and that's no joke!
((((((HUGS, My Dear))))))

Naomi here.

Barbara said...

I wish I had thought of taking my ex to the cleaners! I should have gotten all of the money and left him with his cases of metamucil, boorish relatives, and glib writing which lacked heart. Oh, I DID leave him those. Oops. Hang in there funny Trish!