Yo, Adrian

Okay, raise your hands if you ran out and saw Rambo 25 this past weekend...Aha. Not even a breeze of hands moving skyward. Could they not have taken that money and fixed all the schools all across America? Or how about using it to pay the real soldiers who are still in Iraq doing that thankless job. You don't hear the media talking about Iraq anymore because the economy is sexier right now and because soldiers and civilians are not dying in double digits. Hey, what's one soldier...Or two. I'll tell you what it is...It's someones daughter or son or spouse. That's what it is. You lose your house, that is sad and difficult. You lose your son, you will live with that horrible pain until the day you die.

Gee, I'm actually in a pretty good mood today. Don't know why my mind went there. Must have been Stallone and his human growth hormone face. And have you seen Julie Christie's picture in Los Angeles Magazine? She looked great in that movie, a little older, a little wrinkled, but still beautiful. But in the magazine they air brushed her so much that she actually ended up looking dead. She was like an older woman with no wrinkles or character or any indication that she had actually lived for over sixty years. And another thing about that magazine...The last twenty pages are all ads and pictures of lawyers! Twenty pages. What is that about? Does everyone in this city need a lawyer? Are they all suing somebody? It's really a horrible magazine but I saw Philip Seymour Hoffman on the cover and thought it might be interesting but with twenty pages of lawyers I really felt like I got ripped off. Hmmmm...Maybe I've got a case here.

Two friends of mine, who shall remain nameless...Gretchen and Mimi...(Did I tell you that I can't keep a secret?) Anyway, these nameless friends got a hot dog from Cedric. And they, too, were charmed and apparently talked his ear off and he told them to come back on Valentines Day. And I am sure he was charmed by them as they are very beautiful women. I had a hot dog somewhere else this past weekend, I think it may be the salt that's attracting me, and I got sick. Even from a very few bites. Though I must admit that I have been getting sick much more than I would like these last couple of weeks. I get sick then I feel fine. Maybe that's just the routine of my life from now on and I have to get used to it.

My computer is telling me that there is going to be an "outage" at four o'clock. It's now three thirty six. That guy who came and "fixed" my computer should be shot. At dawn. With his own guns. And I waited all morning for this "expert" to come and check out the damage done for free and they call and tell me he had a flood in his house and he's out of commission for a while and would I take the other guy back? No, I said, because what I would really like to do is beat him over the head with my keyboard or this broadband router that he told me to buy and I have no idea what to do with that thing and my computer is going to shut down in twenty minutes FOR NO REASON and between the computer guy and Officer Rubbish my life is just pure hell these days.

Oh, that is such a lie. My life is fine. I know someone who was killed in an avalanche on Friday. One second he was alive, the next second he was dead. And I feel so lucky that though I've had cancer I now have life and I can hug my son and cook him soup and laugh with my friends and though I know I will die one day sooner or later, I am alive and aware of the precariousness of it all and I know that Chris, who died, was having a wonderful time until he was swept away and I hope we can all have a wonderful time before we're swept away because we just don't know about anything , do we? It is all a complete mystery.

Like this outage that's supposed to happen in fifteen minutes. Now that is a mystery. Not a profound one but enough of one to make me sign off before I finish my thoughts and oh I had something very exciting to tell you.

I have the honor of going to