Saturday, November 29, 2008

Where Have I Been?

Well, the answer to that question is...No where. Actually, that's not completely true. Thursday night I went to my friend's Dennis and Dierdre's house for Thanksgiving. And I ate. Oh boy oh boy oh boy did I eat. Yes, hold on to your chairs. I, the one with almost no stomach and only part of an esophagus was able to eat ONE BITE of carrot and ONE BITE of mashed potato! Ta da! How is that for a feast? Oh, and one tiny bite of apple pie. Oooooh, it was heavenly. Just that tiny bite. And I was thankful for so many wonderful things in my life.........................

That is so not true. What the hell do I have to be thankful for? I wanted to eat that whole damn pie. And the pumpkin one, too. And I wanted turkey and gravy and CRANBERRIES! And sweet potatoes and I didn't want anyone else to have anything. Just lots of food for me. ME ME ME! Dammit. Thankful? This has been one lousy shitty yucky year and to top it off I can't move my right arm. Yes. I am sitting here in pain writing this blog because one week ago I slept in some funny position on my right side and Joyce massaged it and that helped but I still can't lift it up and right now it is hurting as I write and all I want to do is eat something with sugar but I can't do that so I blog with a pain that has nothing to do with cancer just some new inconvenience while I wait for what's next in my seemingly endless series of woes. OH WOE IS ME!!!!!!!!!

Okay, that's out of my system now. All I really wanted was a piece of pie. So I had to complain. Just a bit. Come on. Everyone has to complain every once in a while. Right? And I am thankful. So very, very thankful...For...

My left arm. Yeah, that's it. My left arm works. I am thankful for my left arm. But I have to get off early today because my right arm is killing me and I think I need a popcycle or maybe a bicycle and don't you just love the holidays. Don't they just fill you with joy and hope and happiness?

And pie? Next year, fuck it. I am eating pie on Thanksgiving. With my right hand. A la mode. And if I pass out in a pie filled coma it will be with a smile on my face and a little belly full of sweet apples and I will give thanks for everything and maybe we'll be out of Iraq and I will stop feeling sorry for myself in anyway because truthfully I have everything a person could want and I am one of the lucky ones even without the use of my arm...Which is only temporary. Right?


Okay, already. I am thankful and I love you all and peace on earth and all that jazz.



Candice said...

Trish - so good to see you blogging, you have been in my thoughts. You are in my prayers everyday! Gail Moss and I have re-connected, been about 5 years since we spoke, so it was great to catch up with her, she is now living in Oklahoma, her son Jordan is 20, and is in school there. Gail gave me some sad news, her Mom (who lived in Billings, MT), passed away in October. She is planning a trip to Billings on Christmas Day, we hope to see one another depending on weather, the drive is a nasty one from there to here.

I hope the days ahead get better for you, I do admire how you soldier through each and everyday.

Big HUGS to you!!!


Barbara said...

I'd be pissed off too. Love, Barbara

Sister Mary Martha said...

Happy week after Thanksgiving! Want me to bring you a spoonful of pumpkin pie sometime?

Mimi said...

Trish - Finally got to your blog. I've been thinking about you - I heard you were very sick. Reading this, I imagine just how awful it's been. But of course you also manage to make me laugh. Wonderous.
I saw Mariette Hartley today at an audition (Lifetime, "Rita Rocks" - never seen it. It's money - hey, SAG health insurance minimum, please!)
As I write this I wonder if it adds to the awfulness or makes things good when you hear from people living lives that include working in the old show bidness and, say, eating pie.
I miss you, blondie.